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May 09, 2004
The Art of Caring
We all have a personal definition of what caring is. Or do we? Is there a universal element to it? Are all of our notions of caring unique? Perhaps we have a general understanding of caring, and then specific things stand out as being especially-caring in nature.
What really stands out as caring, for me, is the ability to set aside my own wants and needs in order to do something to make another person happy. Getting that in return signals to me that another person cares about me.
I've always been of the opinion that this is the generally accepted meaning of caring, though recent events in my life have led me to believe otherwise. Is there a primer of how to care for someone? Is what we, as a species, experience as caring really the same?
Now, I certainly agree that caring can manifest itself in a multitude of ways. Just as our personalities differ and develop based on our life's experiences, so do our expressions of emotions. However, is it possible to genuinely, actively "care" in a manner that is absolutely foreign and unrecognizable?
Can we be so different from one another that this can actually happen?
Insight and opinions may be expressed in the "comments" link below. (yes, that means you, slacker!) :)
Posted by irena at May 9, 2004 10:57 AM
Comments
From the Webster's revised unabridged dictionary:
to care for
To have regard or affection for; to like or love.
From what I gather, this is the meaning we are talking about. It appears to me, caring does not imply an action. Caring may or may not prompt a person to proceed in such a way that it is manifested. And then, those on the receiving end might not recognize it as manifistation of caring. Or there maybe other factors that outweigh or prohibit action. I suppose it also depends on the degree of affection.
In my mind, it is universal to be compelled to demonstrate "caring" for someone. The implementation is varied.
(erm... I feel a bit dry today. must be the AC in this hotel)
Posted by: Maklai at May 11, 2004 10:38 AM
Are you serious Maklai? Yes your comments were completely dry and void of human compassion. CareTakers take Care of things right? If your mother is sick, you would be Caring for her right? Well you can also be a Caregiver and Care for people that you do not know or even Care for, or like. But you're still Caring for them. So lets abandon the word Care for now and move on to a more descriptive term of endearment. Love, or Like for those that feel quizy when the word Love or Commitement is talked about. Love is a 2-way street. You cannot Love someone if you do not show it. And you cannot feel Loved if someone does not show you. Different people express it in different ways but what does not change is the fact that they *MUST* (i can't stress this enough) *MUST* come to an agreement either directly or by feel that they are giving and receiving the amount of love that they need to. Everyone has a certain level of Love that they are comfortable in giving as well as a level of Love (which could be synonomous with affection at times) that they require in order to feel safe, secure and Loved. If either of you fail to meet those basic Love requirements then problems will arise.
-- Rumble.
Posted by: Rumble at May 25, 2004 03:01 AM
To counter, here's what Wordnet has to say:
The noun "love" has 6 senses in WordNet.
1. love -- (a strong positive emotion of regard and affection; "his love for his work"; "children need a lot of love")
2. love, passion -- (any object of warm affection or devotion; "the theater was her first love" or "he has a passion for cock fighting";)
3. beloved, dear, dearest, loved one, honey, love -- (a beloved person; used as terms of endearment)
4. love -- (a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction; "their love left them indifferent to their surroundings"; "she was his first love")
5. love -- (a score of zero in tennis or squash; "it was 40 love")
6. sexual love, lovemaking, making love, love, love life -- (sexual activities (often including sexual intercourse) between two people; "his lovemaking disgusted her"; "he hadn't had any love in months"; "he has a very complicated love life")
The verb "love" has 4 senses in WordNet.
1. love -- (have a great affection or liking for; "I love French food"; "She loves her boss and works hard for him")
2. love, enjoy -- (get pleasure from; "I love cooking")
3. love -- (be enamored or in love with; "She loves her husband deeply")
4. roll in the hay, love, make out, make love, sleep with, get laid, have sex, know, do it, be intimate, have intercourse, have it away, have it off, screw, fuck, jazz, eff, hump, lie with, bed, have a go at it, bang, get it on, bonk -- (have sexual intercourse with; "This student sleeps with everyone in her dorm"; "Adam knew Eve"; "Were you ever intimate with this man?")
The only action I see implied there is one of a sexual nature. There's no behavioral implication in the definition of love.
Posted by: irena at May 25, 2004 04:39 AM
Although Rumble seems a bit appauled at my style, they prove my point. The linguistic look at "love" by Irena answers the original question - no, there isn't a primer on caring. I'd like to get back to Rumble for a second. "If either of you fail to meet those basic Love requirements then problems will arise." This doesn't mean there isn't love, does it? Yes, life is happiness, pain and suffering and we like it that way and we pass each other in the dark and don't understand etc... but we still love, care, hate, suffer and eat ice cream.
Posted by: Maklai at June 22, 2004 05:28 AM