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May 25, 2004
Parenting Today
The following was inspired by this thread.
There seems to be a conflict in what is considered to be acceptable in parenting. When I was growing up (and this may not have been present in my family specifically, but I saw this around me) I saw kids getting grounded, kids getting things taken away, kids getting spanked, and kids being held responsible for their behavior.
Today, I am seeing a lot more of "They're kids, it's natural" or "It's just the way they are." Or my favorite, "It's not hurting anyone". I am hearing of parents being criticised for disciplining their children, and a general complacency toward the actions of those under 18.
Now, I wholy believe in allowing a child to develop as "naturally" as possible, but I don't think that means letting the kid get away with everything, or do whatever they want.
Case and point: I've seen more kids acting out in movie theatres and in public places, being loud, offensive, and pushy now than I've ever seen in my life.
Whatever happened to teaching kids to respect? And I don't mean that in the waggling-of-the-finger "kids these day" way... I mean in terms of respecting themselves, each other, and every other aspect of life.
I don't have an expectation of perfection or maturity in kids. Kids, by their nature, are still discovering their place in the world and society. I am still a kid, fumbling through life trying to figure out where I "fit". That's a key element of the human experience. This does not, however, give me a license to be an asshole to everyone.
What my life has taught me is that it is my job to manage my behavior, my words, my actions, even my clothing, in a way that puts me in a position in society that I would like the be in. I determine my own fate. I learned this from my parents teaching me that there were consequences for my actions.
And yet, those consequences are now disappearing and being replaced by "kids are kids".
I can only hope I can do better.
Posted by irena at May 25, 2004 10:30 AM
Comments
I think it's comical how the over-protective culture shift actually causes kids to be more fucked up and be completely unprepared to deal with any real problems.
Don't worry little Billy, we will make sure people are punished over that .5 second nipple slip during the super bowl, but we won't teach you how to deal with emotional issues that can result in you killing yourself or your classmates, hurrah!
Posted by: Philip at May 31, 2004 01:52 AM